The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Baron Arild Rosenkrantz
Yesterday I started a scene to introduce the antagonist of The Foreigner, Thabe-Baht, Fanh-Daole’s husband. I thought I was off to a good start with him, but soon realized he was flat when I needed him to be fully rounded. I’ve got a nice detailed sketch of him in my notes, a good sense of him in my head, but he dies on the page. Something’s not working.
I was thinking he and Marius Saul, the protagonist, must interact, although that’s not the scene I was writing yesterday. I know that when Marius meets Thabe-Baht, he’ll think him a decent man and take him at face value, but Thabe-Baht has a hidden vicious quality. That first impression has to convey both his charm and give a sense of what it hides.
There are a number of ways to go:
- Gestures and mannerisms
- Setting, tastes, interests
- The opinion of others
- Narrative voice
Of these choices, I want to use the one or a combination that best conveys Thabe-Baht’s character. Don’t know if I’ll get any new words down today.