8575. The conversation between Vinza and Annasara has become longer, much longer than I expected. Some of it will most likely end up in some other place in the story. A couple weekends ago, I wrote for each character what their day to day routine was. This was a fun exercise and it gave me a sense of my characters in motion, living their day, like people do. It’s not something that’s going to be in the novel, but it lets me know what each character is doing at a certain time of the day–their day–and that contributes to the writing, to how each character may be as they interact with each other, to what they’ve just come from doing and what they’re about to do. And, most importantly, it fills that abyss in my head when I face the great white sea.
I’m looking forward to starting the new job and having more of my life back. Thinking back a little, over the past several years, considering how I’ve struggled for years to give priority to my writing and how I’ve resented jobs, I think I must change my attitude and stop seeing the job as the Enemy–the enemy of my time, my writing, my desire to have a writing life.
A change in attitude, in perspective, will help me breathe easier, will turn the day job from a mountain I have to climb everyday–endlessly it seems–to a valley through which I walk, and the writing will slip smoothly into place, a part of that valley until it is all of that valley.
This job will demand more of me than the one I’m leaving, and I don’t mind about getting home late since all I do anyway is flop in bed and watch a dvd or read. My brain will be useless for anything but the least demanding of endeavors. As I said to Michelle, writing should not be forced into one’s life, but fit into one’s life.
The morning time will be a boon, but only if I change my attitude and let go of the internalized resentment of daily work away from home.