Consulting the Oracle, John William Waterhouse, 1884

8575. The conversation between Vinza and Annasara has become longer, much longer than I expected. Some of it will most likely end up in some other place in the story. A couple weekends ago, I wrote for each character what their day to day routine was. This was a fun exercise and it gave me a sense of my characters in motion, living their day, like people do. It’s not something that’s going to be in the novel, but it lets me know what each character is doing at a certain time of the day–their day–and that contributes to the writing, to how each character may be as they interact with each other, to what they’ve just come from doing and what they’re about to do. And, most importantly, it fills that abyss in my head when I face the great white sea.

I’m looking forward to starting the new job and having more of my life back. Thinking back a little, over the past several years, considering how I’ve struggled for years to give priority to my writing and how I’ve resented jobs, I think I must change my attitude and stop seeing the job as the Enemy–the enemy of my time, my writing, my desire to have a writing life.

A change in attitude, in perspective, will help me breathe easier, will turn the day job from a mountain I have to climb everyday–endlessly it seems–to a valley through which I walk, and the writing will slip smoothly into place, a part of that valley until it is all of that valley.

This job will demand more of me than the one I’m leaving, and I don’t mind about getting home late since all I do anyway is flop in bed and watch a dvd or read. My brain will be useless for anything but the least demanding of endeavors. As I said to Michelle, writing should not be forced into one’s life, but fit into one’s life.

The morning time will be a boon, but only if I change my attitude and let go of the internalized resentment of daily work away from home.


3 thoughts on “mountains

  1. note new email address.
    Well I know how difficult it is to juggle work and writing. I’m so lucky now to have all this time, and have to try hard not to waste it.
    I am getting lots done these day. I stay home more than before, feeling happy in my new home. Once I get the new equipment (flat-screen monitor and printer/scanner) I will have a more comfortable work space. I still have some travel stories to finish up and/or start, but I want to get back to the novel very soon.
    You sound like you’re on the right path and I wish you well with all your interesting endeavours.

  2. I think it helps also to remember that many successful writers have done many different kinds of work over the years, and still they wrote.

    I remember hearing about a very popular author in Japan who sells lots and lots of novels. He works full-time for the Japanese post office as a delivery guy, walking a route and delivering mail. When he became successful, he decided not to stop working and write full-time, since his job gives him balance and a chance to focus on something other than his writing. People were amazed that he continued working, since he has made a lot of money. He sees no reason to change. In his mind, he’s a letter carrier who writes novels, and he enjoys both.

    Even without another job, there are other things in life, such as family and friends, that require at least some of our time, if not a lot of our time. There will always be that tug of war. So, whatever challenges or demands we face, we devote what we can of ourselves to all the various things we need to do.

    C’est la vie!

    Best wishes for your new job and your new and improved writing schedule.

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