a thread-thin trail

At Fosset. Under the Fir Trees, Fernand Khnopff 25,343. Much on my mind, but not much to say so this’ll be brief. Monthly meeting with Janet today. Before I go I hope to get my Nano pages done. The story is taking some wonderful and surprising turns and my characters are talking, talking, talking; I’m taking dictation and definitely not complaining. I hope they talk themselves to the end. Driving home from work last night another whole scene dropped into my mind and I listened, with one eye on traffic flow, to a conversation between Deidre and her mother Niobe, and it was a revelation. My heart actually butterflied. But when I got home I was too pooped to even open Mac or pick up a pen. With only three hours sleep the night before, I truly didn’t have the energy to focus but no worry; their voices are still going on and I’ll write them this morning. I’m not even trying to think ahead as I write this novel. I’m scrabbling along, following whatever path opens up through the forest. The trees are thick and looming, and I’m following a thread-thin trail, pale and glowing in the darkness. I’ve been feeling discouraged this week, but I keep reminding myself that when I follow the writing, get out of my own way, I get a story, regardless of the evil doubt goblins.  

flipping upstream

 

The Death of the Gravedigger, Carlos Schwabe

25,343, to date. Managed 3 hours sleep last night, woke up from a broken dream of backing Junior into something and breaking off his license plate–so gave up, got up at five, and left home by six so that I was in the city by 7 and settled at the Starbuck’s on Pico. Seeing as I had managed only a few words on November 13 and none at all on the 14th and 15th, I’m pleased with this morning’s session. My six weeks medical leave ended Wednesday and I returned to work yesterday. Smiles all around, lovely bouquets and welcome back’s–it was a nice day, but I was feeling a bit low from not having written anything in days. So I’ve made it to the halfway point. Not sure if I’m going to make it to the finish, but since the reward is a celebration dinner at Summit House, I think I’ll push on.

hollow

Dressing the Queen, Warwick Goble

19,729, and I’m at a standstill, not dead in the water, but definitely caught in stillness like a ship trapped in a windless sea.

the words go down

Cinderella and the Glass Slipper, Warwick Goble18,098. Not quite finished with today’s NANO novel session, but I’m aiming to make the 20,000 mark today and right now I’m at 19,729. It’s going slowly. I’m meeting a friend to see AMERICAN GANGSTER at 3:30, so if I don’t get to the goal by the time I leave, maybe I’ll manage it this evening before bed.It’s getting near that time of year when I start to assess how I’ve done and plan for the new year. I dropped over to Lisa Gates’s and answered the 20 Big Questions for Writers. Lisa will e-mail you a copy of your answers if you request it at the end. I’ve got my copy to help me plan my GDRs for 2008.

day nine, a good day

Starlovers, Warwick Goble

16,889 (NANO) today. I’ve not stirred out of the house this week except for a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I’m not even tempted to go outside. I’ve untitled the novel since “isabella” doesn’t work anymore; now it’s just the “November Novel” and I hope to find its title somewhere down the road. I’m not trying to do anything particular with the writing of this book, just finding my way through the story word by word, sentence by sentence. I’m not even breaking it into chapters. All I’m aiming for is to get to the end–whatever that might be.

stuffed bellpeppers

14,013, (NANO). Didn’t write a lick or a word yesterday. Made stuffed bellpeppers–sauteed Japanese eggplant, garlic, shallots, red bellpepper, a Habanero pepper, chopped fine, and chopped roasted chicken, rice, and a cup and a half of home-made basil and garlic tomato sauce. Demolished one (yum!) as soon as it was done and cool enough to eat, and froze the others for later.

Today’s work made up for yesterday. Most of it is dreck, but there’s some good stuff, stuff with potential, in there. Each day of writing is like standing on a ledge surrounded by fog and knowing the abyss is just one more step forward. But each day I write, I step forward on that ledge, and solid ground grows under my feet, like a bridge that builds itself with each step you take in crossing it. Stopped today in mid-scene, leaving myself a way to start tomorrow. Hemingway’s technique.

chopping down the oak, planting an acorn

Elaine, John Atkinson Grimshaw

10,261 (NANO novel). After reaching my word goal for the November novel yesterday, I turned my attention to A Lamentation of Swans and decided to start this book over. I love the idea of this novel so much and the desire to write it is like a fire I can’t put out. I’m not able to let it go, but it’s clear to me that a lot about the story as it’s written so far does not sit well in my mind. So–back to square one. Not a revision or a re-do, but a re-envisioning, a new start at page 1, a fresh perspective. I put away the most recent printout in the box with all the ALoS stuff, going to pretend like the book doesn’t exist. It’s a brand-new collection of ideas; a shining white road winds before me, and the murky forest has vanished.

John Gardner in The Art of Fiction states, in discussing the “Write about what you know.” maxim: “Nothing can be more limiting to the imagination, nothing is quicker to turn on the psyche’s censoring devices and distortion systems, than trying to write truthfully and interestingly about one’s own home town, one’s Episcopalian mother, one’s crippled younger sister.” I know nothing; I’ll have to imagine it all.

Gardner continues to say, “For some writers, the advice may work, but when it does, it usually works by a curious accident: The writer writes well about what he knows because he has read primarily fiction of just this kind–realistic fiction of the sort we associate with The New Yorker, the Atlantic Monthly, or Harper’s. The writer, in other words, is presenting not so much what he knows about life as what he knows about a particular literary genre.” The writer writes the kind of story he knows and likes best.

Absolutely.

I don’t think I’ll get any words on the November novel today, but I’m a bit ahead so not to worry. I’m not going to pressure myself over it.

It’s a pale November morning, and tomorrow, Mom will have been gone from us a month.

a little bit ahead

Veronica Veronese, Dante Gabriel Rossetti

10,261. Need a new title for the NANO book. The swerve into new territory is going well.

Things I cannot remember rightly:

My blog URL; I always write it wrong.
My age; believe it or not, I always ADD a year.

Wish I’d stop that.

machine gun

Sibylla Palmifera, Dante Gabriel Rossetti

6,048. My neighbors surprised me with a treat, taking me to see Cedric the Entertainer at the Cerritos Center. The show was great; I laughed more than I have laughed all year. Mom liked Cedric the Entertainer and would have loved to see him. Thinking of how much she’d have liked the show made it poignant for me, but I’m glad for having gone too.

Stayed up late reading Ariel Gore’s (no relation to Al Gore) highly amusing, vigorously written “How To Become A Famous Writer Before You’re Dead” until my eyes ached, my head buzzed, and I felt nauseous. I really need to quit reading and go to sleep.

Day 4 of NANO yesterday and realized I hate Isabella . Damn it. In my head a machine gun reared its ugly snout and blew Isabella to bits. Decided to let the story go in a different direction. It can still be a good story. So…on to Day 5.

pep

Black Isles, Maxfield Parrish

5,015. So this morning I had to give myself a pep talk as I approached the page. I’ve got all kinds of stuff written so far and am just trusting what comes, trying my best not to impose anything, not to let my anxieties take over, not to listen to the nasty little editor’s voice whispering vile things. I’m having to split my writing session today to make the pages ’cause my neighbors have invited me on a mid-afternoon outing.

I think “Isabella” (which will not be the final title) is going to be a terrific story–eventually.

Yesterday during our monthly meeting Michelle and I discussed prospective objectives for 2008 and roughed out our GDRs, although we still have plenty of time to think about things and make firm decisions. I know that my GDRs will be seriously reduced for 2008. 2007’s fell apart fairly quickly and it’s clear to me I must think more carefully about my objectives each year, about what I want to accomplish, what I hope to accomplish, what I can accomplish. I did manage to get some items done, but mostly, 2007’s GDRs crashed and burned. Still I’ve got a 36-month writing plan in progress and I’m trying to stay on track.